On Being Depressed

Some of my first memories are of my parents taking me to see Star Wars. I was in awe, and still am. I recall my father had a heart attack as he took me out on Halloween. I was nine, and he made my costume- PacMan. I remember traveling to Fla. to see the construction of Epcot Center. I remember going to visit my grandmother on Christmas. She loved ribbon candy. I remember my siblings working on a strawberry farm, coming home with stained jeans. I remember a candy shop called Marwedal's where kids got all kinds of candy. I remember my parents above ground pool and out first dog Pepper. I remember my dad getting up early for work, cooking himself breakfast and leaving in a station wagon in the dark. I remember believing in Santa and going to Mass at church and not being able to sleep, and in the morning we had so many presents. I remember emulating my older brother because he was smart and had so many friends. I remember my grandmother dying. I remember cutting in my late teens.

Here I am, 30-something and I have nothing to show for my life. I have heard all kinds of advice from philosophers and fools.Friends say I should be proud of graduating and getting published. 
Yet, its not enough.

Being Self Aware

Being self aware includes:

• what you want in your life
• your strengths and weaknesses
• what motivates you and  makes you happy
• what you want to change about yourself or about your life
• your achievements so far
• how you relate to others
• your most important beliefs and values
• self image   

We are all a work in progress. Introspection plays a big part and maybe that is why so many have no clue what they are really about. Once in awhile I get someone that says "why do you change your mind?" Because its called evolution. If you never changed your views, your life would be stagnant, and nothing would change.

So, who are you?

American Politics

Over the past few months I have been following the race between those tho wish to be the next president. Its been amusing to see the media spin the poll results, downplaying the effectiveness of Ron Paul. Yes, I am in favor of Mr. Paul, and despite the few things I disagree with him on, overall he seems like the only sane choice.

He is honest, smart and hardworking. Some have pointed out he is "too old". That is a cop-out.

But it seems that the country wants some bloated, devious miscreant such as Newt Gingrich, a man who cheated on his first two wives all the while supporting the investigation in the Clinton sex scandal, and he took a bribe from Sally Mae worth $2.3 million. He had to pay a fine for ethics violation- $300,000. How can we trust a person like that? 

Then of course we have Herman Cain who has dug a hole for himself with numerous sex scandals and fumbling over a simple question about Iran. He is done.

Next is Mitt Romney, a man who has the charisma of cardboard. He might have a chance if Newt sinks. But he has zero chance against Obama.

There are some who will say the system is rigged so your vote does not matter. Its sad that so many would choose to keep voting for incompetent a-holes instead of taking a chance on an underdog.

Heroes

You hear it in the news whenever there is good news- who is your hero? That word gets thrown around more often than a bong at Charlie Sheen's place. Its a great question but what are the qualities of a hero?

My heroes are my father, who fought in WW2 as a SeaBee, and various authors and musicians, not simply because I appreciate their visions but I admire their dedication to their crafts.

Growing up, most of us are taught to respect authority figures and to never question them. Well, not me. You have to earn my respect and all my heroes have. 

A hero is not simply one who runs into a burning building and rescues people although that is a great example.

A hero can be someone who inspires others and a teacher is but one example. But we hear the word so often that it seems to have lost its magic. 

Simply because someone survived a bear attack, does that make them a hero? Or if someone beats a deadly disease? The word needs to be examined and people should not assume someone is a hero based on their charisma and looks. Lincoln had a terrible public speaking voice, and Churchill was a stutterer but both men were amazing leaders.

So, who is your hero and why?What did they teach you about life?

College is a Scam

I graduated in 2005 with a Bachelors in graphic design. I looked for a job in that field and soon found out it was saturated. People asked me if I learned anything from school. Yes, that you need to kiss major ass to make it in this world and your classmates (possible future co-workers) will hate you because they are jealous of you. So, now I am $30k+ in debt and looking to go down a totally different path.

 We are told we must go to college in order to have a better future.
The purpose of education is not to educate, enlighten or increase your intelligence. It's all a scam to shape and mold you, keep you disciplined and under control, making you think that you are learning useful things. 

We are encouraged to go to college to raise our career level and status, bombarded with higher level "education" which in reality is just more useless information that you're tested on. In reality, most of what you study and memorize from college coursework under your degree program is NEVER used in the profession that you are specializing in. 

What they don't tell you is that the real purpose of college is not to educate you, make you wiser or smarter, or even a better more capable person. The real purpose is to create a middle class and keep you in debt forever. Professors indoctrinate you with the promise that if you work hard, that hard work will pay off. 

They lie.

Here are some facts about student loan debt:

•  It now exceeds credit card debt. How much? $900 billion.
• tuition has increased by 400% between 1985 and 2005.
• the average student leaves college owing about $24,000 

So, what is the solution? Learn a trade like electrical work or welding. Or, become an entrepreneur and start up a business.If I knew then what I know now....

Currently, Obama is considering a bill  that would help students climb out of debt. It would help millions and would also help the economy. I have seen some comments on Youtube- "you should have major in..." Well, hindsight is great but no one is psychic. 

Another mindless comment is "did you expect education to be free?" Maybe it should be.

Old Fashioned

I might be old fashioned. I do not own an iPhone or listen to iTunes. I do not use a Blackberry. I prefer cd and even vinyl, and I have no need for apps. I also do not understand why many have a cellphone surgically implanted on the side of their head.

I love films but I am not impressed with 3D, CGI or the tired old formula of car chases, explosions and women with large breasts. I prefer the 80's style of doing things, when entertainment was worth the money. One of my favorites is Ray Harryhausen, the genius responsible for the creatures in Clash of the Titans. Someone decided that style should trump substance, and stories should be remade again and again, each time destroying the magic of the original vision. I despise 3D releases and remakes. I do not watch something simply because it features Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. I will watch only if the story is interesting. I have no desire to pay nearly $20 for a ticket, popcorn and soda in a crowded theater with a sticky floor.
When it comes to story, that is what matters to me. I do not care if something took $200 million to make, that is inconsequential. The bottom line question should be: How is it different from every other story? Most big budget films bore me, and I gravitate towards the low budget releases.

As for literature, I am fond of some of the classics. New authors fail to impress me. I do not care about Twilight or...even Harry Potter. I realize this appeals to a younger crowd but I see people in their 30's and 40's drooling over these stories. What I find amusing is that many authors and film directors fail to mention is their ideas are built upon older ideas. The Brothers Grimm tales were great but Disney decided they were too scary and sugarcoated them. Maybe kids need to see the originals and recognize that sometimes there are no happy endings.

My other love is music, but currently there is not much that catches my interest. Most is boring drivel and I wonder how these "musicians" get signed. The harmonies are strange and the lyrics are a sign that we truly have been dumbed down. Enough of that Autotune. Because of the current offerings, I long for the 70's and 80's. Give me cheesy hair metal bands and Euro-pop any day over some "teen sensation" that has a show on Disney. Say what you want about the last few decades, but they offered something original. Musicians were not afraid to take chances then, and their legacies have withstood the test of time. Today's hits are plastic and their vision is anything but unique. I have a friend who likes to listen to vinyl, he says it has a better sound because technology has sucked the soul out of music. He likes the crackles and hisses. I have to agree. Entertainment used to be fun, now its nauseatingly dull.

So, am I weird for not jumping on the tech bandwagon? Maybe, but only weird because most are under the impression that having the latest technology equates to being intelligent.

Important Films

Now, I love films and I realize there are more important topics but I stay away from heavy stuff with most. But films are important, its about telling a story. So, here are my picks and why.

1984- starring William Hurt in a world of fear and confusion. The book version is better but this was worth watching.

V For Vendetta- a terrific story about how government can get too big, and the people fight back.

 Network- I am sure by now most people recognize a few lines from it. Its important because of a speech given by the main character, a seasoned news anchor, about American life.

Braveheart- the true story of William Wallace who fought for Scotland against the Brits.  It shows what a person is willing to do to preserve freedom.

Taxi Driver- an underdog who sees corruption in society and wants to make a difference. The madness drives him to vigilante justice. 

Goodfellas- great acting, great dialogue. Based on a true story. 

Donnie Darko- to me this is about identity and fate. Great acting and Frank is one of the most disturbing characters ever.

Scent of a Woman- a blind colonel and a young ivy league student become friends and learn from each other. This is Pacino's 2nd best performance. The speech he gives in school is the best movie speech ever!

Apocalypse Now- this shows the gritty nature of Vietnam with amazing acting and visuals. Brando as a disenfranchised colonel was awesome. Hopper gave a solid performance as well. 

 They Live- a sci-fi movie which almost passes for a documentary. John Carpenter is a genius in giving us this social commentary complete with memorable lines and great visuals.